The Gift You Didn't Ask For and a Toast to Terumo

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!


As many of you may have seen, the Wall Street Journal article featuring our family finances hit news stands last Monday, December 12. I thought they did a nice job on the article and it certainly looked better in print than on your computer screen.

I had an early meeting at the hospital last week and picked up my copies at the Starbucks on campus. In sharing my excitement seeing the photo in print with my barrista, the man behind me (who looked a little like Santa Claus) yelled out, "THAT'S SO COOL!" He then realized maybe he should have contained his excitement a little when he said, "You know, maybe that wouldn't be cool if you're in there because you're related to Bernie Madoff". I chuckled and assured him that was not the case, but explained I am related to Bernie Smith, my daughter, a point of interest in the article. Although, I must say how surprised I am that only complete strangers (oh, and my dad, a devoted WSJ subscriber) seemed excited to see the article and wanted to talk about it. Maybe that's the bummer of the blog...so many visitors, so little feedback. I am not going to lie. I love your comments! But maybe that just illustrates the eggshells we all walk on regarding personal finance. It's personal. I don't expect you to talk about the state of your personal affairs just because we did so don't worry. But I wonder...just wonder...if we were more open about it to some extent if we could have the conversations necessary with people we trust to make even better choices about what we do with our money. It's such a root of so many problems and at the same time very connected to our states of content or discontent with life. Hmmmm...

It was a fantastic day moving the PCTU (Pediatric Cardio-thoracic Unit) move to the new Mott Hospital on December 4. There were lots of people, lots of details to tend to, and lots of responsibility making sure all of the patients and their families had a stress-free experience. I will have a little more on that later, including a movie. It was a very special day! All I will show you for now is that Bernie gives the new digs a definite thumbs up.

Anyhow, on to some other fun stuff. We were very fortunate to be invited to speak to the employees at Terumo Cardiovascular Systems for their holiday party. "Who the heck is Terumo?" you may ask. Terumo Corporation is one of the world’s leading medical device manufacturers with $4 billion in annual sales and operations in more than 160 countries. Their 5-campus division of Terumo Cardiovascular Systems in Ann Arbor provides cardiac surgery products, including a full–line of perfusion products, a full line of cannulae, and endoscopic vein harvesting products (from their website). If you have ever known anyone to have cardiac or vascular surgery, chances are that Terumo was involved somehow behind the scenes. They are primarily known in Ann Arbor for making the cardiopulmonary bypass machines that keep your blood moving and oxygenated while your chest is open and your heart is stopped in surgery.

So how the heck did we land this opportunity? After our appearance at the Griese Hutchinson Woodson event a few years ago, Terumo was looking for a speaker to help them commemorate their 10th anniversary in Ann Arbor. They asked Dr. Bove (head of cardiac surgery at UM) for some help recommending a pediatric case to help their employees make an emotional connection to what each and every employee strives to do each day: Save 1000 lives. Dr. Hirsch and I went with Bernie and we had a lovely time. I heard many say there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

We each spoke to them about the importance of their work and shared our personal stories that accompany our direct experience with their products. They invited us to come back again a couple of weeks ago to speak at their holiday party to share our message once again, especially since they have hired about 250 new associates. We were to again emotionally connect them with what they do. Smart! Don't we all do better when there's an important emotional connection?

Jeff Carpenter is a Terumo sales representative from Kansas and spoke first about not only being in sales, but being on the operating table this past year for his own open heart surgery. It was a pleasure to meet Jeff and listen to his experience.

Dr. Hirsch spoke to them about the importance of their products within the context of what she does everyday in stomping out congenital heart disease. She also explained who Bernie is to her, including the fact that she's her Godmother. She referred back to that day I call "Black Monday", explaining how she came into the room with the intent of telling me we were going to withdraw support (aka pull the plug). All medical plans were to go through her at this stage. Bernie was dying. She didn't know until she was speaking to me that very morning, as she claims, that there was "an angel on her shoulder" who directed her to devise a brave new plan. This plan did not involve surgery but would induce a different, deeper coma involving some seldom used drugs and require a willingness for the ICU physicians to give her a chance even though they thought she was crazy and creating false hope for our family.

 They also showed a few snippets of a couple Bernie movies on the big screens to either side of the podium. I confessed to them that since our last visit I had also developed a habit of blogging.  They allowed me to take their picture to report to you, our loyal fans, about our visit. There were approximately 850 people who were transported to the event location via multiple buses. As you can see, this was quite an audience! Bernie was quite shy and hid on my lap for much of the time. Until the end which I'll explain in a minute.

During my time to talk, I also referred to Black Monday and explained the following: It wasn't until years later that Dr. Hirsch and I talked about it to really discuss the gravity of that morning. We went to dinner one night and I just had to know more about that day. "How did you think of that? What made you do it?" I asked. There were so many forces working against her to change the course of action. It was such a random shot in the dark that no one seemed to approve. Her response: "I didn't want to let you down".

Although this may sound like script from a LifeTime movie, I think this has tremendous implications. Her response implies a connection not only to what she does, but to the people she helps everyday, regardless if she's known them for 4 hours or 4 years. Her response to my question also implies a relationship.  That powerful connection of a relationship, in my eyes, enabled her to use her gifts that day to a greater, almost unimaginable, extent.  As a generality, it makes me wonder if we all took more time to connect ourselves with others and deepen our relationships what gifts may be realized. I think we'd discover bigger and better gifts that come to fruition because of incredible risk, trust, and caring for someone else so much that any chance is worth it.

After the presentation, we had some photos taken and, as could be expected, Bernie started to come out of her shell.  She even went up to company president, Mark Sutter, and hugged him around the knees, gesturing for him to pick her up.  That's exactly what he did as you can see from the photo. I think she tugged on his heart strings as well.

This was a terrific opportunity to once again revisit Bernie's story and think about new lessons, gifts, and realizations that have come about in the past 4 years. She's a different kind of gift. A gift I never asked for or thought I wanted. The kind of gift that many look upon with pity and as much as they may smile or acknowledge her story, they silently thank the heavens above that it's me and not them who has walked down this road.

But there are also many who understand differently. I know who they are in an instant. And they know me even though we've never crossed paths before or know the intimacies of each others' stories. Chances are if you've been paying close attention to our story over the past 4 years, you are most likely one who has this understanding.

We all expect gifts this holiday season. Not to be overly assuming, but there's usually some sort expectation of receiving a gift or two in the next week for most of us. We might not think we expect to be remembered with a gift this season, but it's there in some form, from someone.

As I challenged the folks at Terumo, I challenge you as well:

You may receive a gift this season that you didn't ask for. I am not talking about that fun and humorous white elephant gift exchange. Or the Clark Griswold "Jelly of the Month Club" gesture of grave misunderstanding and corporate greed. I am talking about a sincere gift from someone who cared enough to think of you. Maybe this gift you receive is defective. Or broken. It may be an item that's just going to take up space rather than something you're excited about.  People may encourage you to take it back or give it away. "Spare yourself the hastle," they may say. "Get something you really want."

I ask you to think of Bernie.

There may be a way to fix this item, even if it requires a talented person with specialized skills. There may be an insightful someone somewhere who can help you see that this item may have a place in your life. It may even have great purpose, but you may not know it right away. After all, the person who gifted it to you thought it was something that could have significance in your collection of treasures. This gift  may even change your life. And then again, it may just be perfect just the way it is and it's exactly what you were supposed to receive. So long as you give it a chance.

Merry Christmas, Everyone. And may your new year be full of...BLISS.

Here's a new "gift" twist on a 2011 favorite that we played for the employees at Terumo during our visit. Enjoy!

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