Secret Society Love at the Beach

It was never my intention to go to the beach to make a burly grown man cry as a result of our family's presence, but it happened the other day. You just never know what you're going to get at any given public outing and especially when Bernie's in the mix.

We arrived at our favorite local state park beach later in the afternoon earlier this week. The big girls grab their goggles and swim out as far as they can to practice underwater somersaults in the deeper water. Bernie has other plans. She scopes out everyone else's toys. The "beach hawk", as we call her, was in full effect and there was no stopping her as she spied a large green turtle swim ring.

It sat behind a bench where an apparent grandfather sat with his baby grandson. Bernie grabs it and starts running for the water. I intercept. We put it back, apologize, and before I walk away, I hear the man ask me a question.

 "What's her name?"
 "Bernie," I say with a smile.
"Oh, my daughter, too," he gets out with a slight stutter.
"Is her name Bernadette or Bernice?" I ask to clarify the name potential commonality.
"Oh, no. She had Down syndrome," he explains.

 His use of the past tense does not scare me or make me uneasy.

 "Your daughter passed away?"

"Her name was Chrystal. We raised her until she was 20 when she died from a blood clot during a routine surgery to remover her adenoids. Seeing you with your daughter just reminds me of her so much. Tears keep running down my face as I watch you with her out here on the beach. I'm crying like a baby behind these sunglasses."

 I gently touched his shoulder and thanked him for sharing. I think I even shared a "Bless you" even though it was far from a sneeze that I heard. Bernie starts running for the water again and we both know I have to follow.

 "It's the greatest love there is," the man said to me in parting.

 I flashed him a look and a smile that let him know I understood and validated this "secret society love" we share. And he's totally right. Even though much of the world may not understand this kind of love, for that moment, he and I did. And no matter the outcome of his daughter, knowing that love has made all the difference in our lives.

We will be back with a report on our next Ann Arbor visit scheduled for October 9.